Our Little Ayden

So I'm not sure how well known this information is, but since about spring time this last year we have had suspicions about Ayden having a spectrum disorder (i.e. Autism), but really didn't know what to do or who to talk to. After 8 months of frustrations, evaluations, fears, doubts, and about a million questions, we FINALLY got OUR questions answered this last week. We took him to the Children With Special Health Care Needs clinic run by the utah health department and were able to get qualified for free testing with a psychologist who could offer us an actual diagnosis, and hopefully some much needed guidance. The testing was again, mainly question upon question about behaviors, knowledge, speech, and everything that makes up his complicated little being. The main difference this time was that after talking to the psychologist for about 45 minutes he told me he was certain of Ayden's diagnosis....and I held my breath as he said to me the one word I was unprepared for....Asperger's.

I'm not certain why, but for some time now I have been under the impression that Asperger's was one of the worst of the spectrum disorders and was certain in my limited knowledge that Ayden couldn't possibly have something that horrible. It HAD to be Autism. Well...turns out I couldn't have been more backwards with my impressions. I felt a little ridiculous as he explained to me that Asperger's Syndrome was probably the best of the worst....or rather, the best thing we could have hoped for in terms of spectrum disorders. Here I was wishing for Autism, and it turns out it is much more severe, and impairs to a far greater degree, not just in terms of speech or academics, but in all aspects of the child's life. In many cases these children are unable to be independent or have many of the things in life that all parents hope their children will obtain....a college degree, a mission, a spouse and their own family, and even things as simple as a normal schooling experience as a child or the ability to make friends outside of their own family. With Asperger's on the other hand, it mainly consists of a combination of sensory defensiveness (a resistance to unknown sounds, smells, tastes, textures, people, etc), high anxiety levels that can be triggered by any number of things, rigidity to a routine, and difficulty in effective communication with others. There are some good things that come from it too, like the ability to learn things incredibly rapidly (which Ayden has displayed many times...like he can memorize an entire movie in several viewings...), and their interest in knowledge generally leads to advanced education and a high IQ which will help him as he goes through college. So although there are still some major difficulties to work through for both Ayden and for us, with the proper tools and help he should catch up with his speech in as little as 5-6 months, excel in academics, and be able to work through his social roadblocks to go on to lead a full and independent adult life.

We feel incredibly blessed as we have been on this road of discovery with Ayden. So many angels have been placed in our path and have provided us with comfort, understanding, and advice as we have struggled with the who's, what's, where's, and why's of it all. We are excited now to finally have a starting point to work with and a clear direction to be headed in, and we know it won't be easy, but these children are our lives and we will give nothing less than our very best to them. I hope you all had an amazing holiday season and we send all our love. Hope to be seeing you soon!

Love The Deckers

Jonathan, Desiree, Ayden, & Oliver